I thought I’d write a bit about the office I work in. It’s very small, three people – including myself. An insurance agency – property/casualty coverages; homes, autos & business insurance.
I came to this office about 11 months ago. Having received my P&C license just three months prior – as a way to find employment, no practical experience. I’d been temping for the previous three years in offices – filing, typing, etc. I have 30+ years of administrative/office experience – but no one was hiring for that – so…I branched out.
They hired me, after looking and interviewing for several months. Apparently they wanted someone who lived close by – that would make a committment to showing up everyday. Okay, no worries – I got that, and now I’ve got a ‘secure’ job.
Sam has mentioned several times that the reason they held on to Sally, and hired me, was that they wanted their time off…they leave Thursday at 3:30p and take Friday off. I know that on one level – he’s being honest – but surely that can’t be the whole deal? Can it?
The woman I was replacing had worked here for 16 years. For the first 10 years or so her main job was reception and the personal home/auto policies. Eventually, she did some commercial/business assistance as well.
My first day I sat with Sally, my workmate to learn my duties. She put me off for an hour while she ate her breakfast. I was relegated to the bosses wife, Elaine, who showed me a couple of the main companies they write for (Independent Agent), and said I should take notes. Then, Sally showed me a few things on the computer, how they send email, etc. The next day she went on vacation for a week. Left to fend for myself – I struggled to learn the ins and outs of the commercial business side of the agency; come-to-find-out, they’re not all that concerned with keeping the personal side going. In fact, they almost sold that piece of the business. So, no marketing, no outbound sales phone calls, no website, no Facebook page, etc.
As Sally trained me (I got one more day with her when she returned from vacation) she mentioned that Elaine likes finding fault – will blame others for her mistakes, etc. Sally says she cried the whole first month she worked here. I think to myself – no worries – I get along with everyone. It’s rare that I can’t connect and make something work.
Fast forward – working here has come with a price. Elaine is a ‘throw them in the lake see if they swim’ , and a ‘it goes without saying’ kind of person. She gives partial information, no questioning – just do things the way she does. Constantly interrupts me when I talk, “knows” what I’m going to say before I say it, gets angry if I interrupt her or she thinks I might. Becomes put out if I don’t understand what she’s trying to explain. Sam thought that having Elaine as my supervisor would alleviate the issues that came up with Sally. Not so much. I think it just gave her more license to abuse. Think privileged sorority sister.
Sam (boss) is the, explain why the process is, and what to look for. Great – cause that’s my learning style. Pretty easy-going, nice sense of humor. So, two complete opposites.
Along with that no information – anywhere – on office procedures, etc. Sally wrote nothing down to help with the transition, even though she had about three months between when she gave her notice and when I was hired. I’m not sure if that was intentional (she and Elaine hated each other) or if it was just not giving a damn. Either way – it’s made working here much more difficult. Add to that – the daily critiques of my work (even when it’s correct), sometimes my clothing will be criticized (I’ve worn a dress – she thinks I should have worn pants -really?!). How old is this woman you say? 60ish. I know… it appears some women don’t get nicer with time… I’m going to do a blog on female bullies…but that’s another day.
So, what’s my deal in all this. Well – I don’t say anything, while I’m at work. I have a big sister I talk to..and vent. I meditate, read how to deal w/ bullies. But I don’t stand up for myself. What?!! Here’s the thing…I waited almost three years to have a ‘steady’ job. I rented a room from a friends mother for that time – she smoked in the house and was generally not a pleasant person. I’m out – finally have my own place – because of this job. Also, I have a childhood of learned behavior with dealing with emotional abuse. So I’m highly skilled in this area. I’m not saying that’s a good thing – or is healthy. I’m just saying that ‘it is’.
I read that to deal with bullies at work – you get a support group together – and confront the person…hmmmm Or, you go to human resources….or to the boss. Okay, none of that is going to work. Sam knows what kind of person his wife is…he didn’t do anything about it last time. I don’t have anyone here…and…no human resources. And..last but not least.. the hook that holds my backbone up..seems to have gotten lost.
I am doing some things toward the positive…I am putting my resume together..and will post it in the world. My sister is feng shuing my desk (hey, why not?). I am writing about the experience – using it as a project to learn more. I’m reading a book called, Mean Girls Grown Up: Adult Women Who Are Still Queen Bees, Middle Bees, and Afraid-to-Bees, by Cheryl Dellasega PhD. Not only does it discuss the behaviors of the adult mean girls – but has steps for helping the ‘afraid-to-bees’ (me).
I’m working on turning a negative into a positive. Yah…I know…sappy. But, effective if you can pull it off, or rather if I can.
rosegram 